


MY FIRST SMUT FIC

by cthchewy (pyrrhic_victoly)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: A STUPID PAIRING., FOR STUPID BITCHES., IT IS A MILLION TIMES BETTER., M/M, Smut, THAN THE DAVEKATS., THIS IS AN ALPHAKRAB STORY., THIS IS NOT THE STUPID DAVEKATS., WHAT IS THAT EVEN., WHICH ARE FOR BITCHES., homosuck, the yaois
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-24 05:35:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2570057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyrrhic_victoly/pseuds/cthchewy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SMUUUUUUT. YES. THIS IS A FILTHY SMUT FIC. SO SCANDALOUS. ARE YOU SCANDALIZED YET?</p><p>I WILL SUMMARIZE NOW.  BECAUSE IT IS THE SUMMARY.  FOR THE SUMMARIZING OF PLOTS. </p><p>THIS IS A STORY.  OF HOW KRABKRAB’S LIFE GOT FLIPPED.  TURNED UPSIDE-DOWN.  BY THE DISGUSTINGLY RAUNCHY.  HARDCORE.  ADVANCES OF THE ALPHA MALE.</p><p>READ THE STORY.  AND YOU WILL SEE HOW IT IS BETTER.  THAN ANY SUMMARY COULD POSSIBLY BE.</p>
            </blockquote>





	MY FIRST SMUT FIC

ONE DAY, THE ALPHA MALE WOKE UP. ON A METEOR. FLYING THROUGH SPACE OR SOME SHIT. DON’T ASK ME WHY HE WAS ON A METEOR. HE’D BEEN THERE FOR A LONG TIME. IT WAS SO STUPID. AND BORING. THERE WAS NO ONE THERE EXCEPT SOME USELESS BITCHES. THAT THE ALPHA MALE HAD NO TIME FOR. WHICH IS HILARIOUS FOR A TIME PLAYER. WHO HAS ALL OF THE TIME. ALSO CLOWN FRIEND AND KRABKRAB WERE THERE.

BUT THE ALPHA MALE WAS NOT INTERESTED IN CLOWN FRIEND. BECAUSE THE CLOWN WAS NOT BISHIE ENOUGH. HE DID NOT HAVE THE SMOLDERING RED HOT PEEPERS LIKE KRABKRAB. AND THE ALPHA MALE HIMSELF.

ANYWAY. HE WOKE UP TO A COMMOTION COMING FROM THE NEXT BLOCK. THE ALPHA MALE LISTENED FOR A WHILE. HE DID NOT RESPOND AT FIRST BECAUSE. IT WAS PROBABLY THE BITCHES CRYING THEMSELVES INTO. A HYSTERICAL BITCH-FRENZY. OVER NOT GETTING THE TIME OF DAY. (A/N, WHICH STANDS FOR “AUTHOR’S NOTE”: HAHA. I PUNNED.) FROM THE ALPHA MALE.

*NO. IT IS NOT THE BITCHES.* HE THOUGHT AFTER A WHILE.

THE SOBBING WAS MANLY. IT WAS INTENSE LIKE ONLY THE MOST GRIZZLED. CHISLED HUNK OF HARD MASCULINITY COULD BE. BUT SOFTENED TO LEVELS APPEALING TO THE BITCHES. THROUGH THE POWER OF THE YAOIS. NOT THAT I CARE. WHAT IS APPEALING TO BITCHES.

IT WAS KRABKRAB. BECAUSE KRABKRAB IS ALWAYS CRYING. WHEN HE IS NOT YELLING. BUT THIS TIME HE WAS DOING BOTH. AT THE SAME TIME. LIKE A “DOUCHEBAG”. THE ALPHA MALE COULD NOT LEAVE HIS DEAREST… _FRIEND_ … IN SUCH A STATE. OH YES. HE HAD DISGUSTING FEELINGS OF HUMAN FRIENDSHIP TOWARDS THE KRAB. SO FORBIDDEN. SO WRONG. AND YET SO RIGHT.

*HUMAN FRIENDSHIP IS FOR HUMANS* THOUGHT THE ALPHA MALE. *BUT KRABKRAB IS A TROLL. AND YET I LUST FOR HIS GROSS LITTLE FRIENDSHIP PAPS UPON MY CHEEKS. I CAN NOT RESIST. HIS BITCH-LIKE BAWLING.*

SO HE DID NOT RESIST. AND INSTEAD WENT TO… _CONSOLE_ … THE SIMPERING KRABKRAB. SO LEWD!

AT KRABKRAB’S BLOCK, THE MALE TROLL WAS TYPING MASCULINELY. HE WAS AT HIS KRAB-SHAPED COMPUTING DEVICE. SMASHING THE KEYBOARD WHILE TEARS FLOWED DOWN HIS MANLY FACE. AND HIS MOUTH WAS OPEN IN A YELL. HE SCREAMED. AT THE PERSON HE WAS ALSO TYPING AT. THIS HAPPENED TO BE CLOWN FRIEND.

CLOWN FRIEND HAD JUST BROKEN UP WITH KRABKRAB. THEY HAD BEEN HAVING THE SMUTTIEST. MOST HARDCORE SECRET LIASONS OF… COVER YOUR GRUB EARS FOLKS… _MUTUAL PAPPINGS_.

YEEESSSSSS. THEY USED TO STROKE EACH OTHER’S ARMS. SOMETIMES THEY HAD EVEN. KISSED. EACH OTHER ON THE FOREHEAD. OH. HOT. DAMN.

CLOWN FRIEND’S SUDDEN DISINTEREST IN GROSS ACTS OF BONDING HAD THROWN KRABKRAB FOR A LOOP. (A/N: BUT NOT A TIME LOOP. HA. HA.) IT WAS WHILE KRABKRAB WAS IN THIS MOMENT. OF BITCH-LIKE WEAKNESS. THAT THE ALPHA MALE SWOOPED IN.

HE SAID. “KRABKRAB WHAT’S UP BRO.”

“BRO” IS A TERM THAT THE ALPHA MALE USES. A LOT. IT IS HOW HE MAINTAINS HIS ALPHA STATUS. BY CONTINUOUSLY DROPPING. HINTS THAT HE ONLY HAS TIME FOR “BROS”. AND NOT “HOS”, WHICH IS ANOTHER WORD FOR BITCHES. 

KRABKRAB SAID. “CLOWN FRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME. FUCK. NOW I’M ALL ALONE. SHITSTAIN. FRIENDLESS AND UNWANTED. FUCK FUCK. ONLY ONE STEP ABOVE BEING A BITCH. ASSCACTUS.”

THEY LOOKED. INTO EACH OTHER’S SMOLDERING RED EYES. THEY WERE LOST THERE IN THE POOLS. OF SCARLET CRIMSON DEW. IT WAS LIKE DROWNING IN BLOOD AND LAVA. SO HOT. VISCERAL IN ITS INTENSITY.

THE ALPHA MALE REACHED FOR KRABKRAB. AND HE SAID. “BRO. FUCK THAT DUDE. YOU DON’T NEED HIM BRO. BECAUSE I WILL BE YOUR BRO FOREVER.”

THIS WAS THE MOST ROMANTIC CONFESSION. THAT KRABKRAB HAD EVER RECEIVED. HE WAS SO MOVED. MOVED TO TEARS. AGAIN. BUT FROM SMUTTY FEELS THIS TIME. HE FELT THE EXCITEMENT RISE IN HIM. FROM HEARING THE ALPHA MALE’S WORDS. SUCH TENDERNESS IN HIS BLOODPUSHER. HE HAD NEVER FELT BEFORE.

TEARS WERE WIPED AWAY. THEY STARED SOME MORE INTO RUBY ORBS. KRABKRAB WAS RECEPTIVE. WHEN THE ALPHA MALE REACHED FOR HIM. AND GATHERED HIS TROLL FRIEND INTO HIS ARMS. HE REACHED OUT TO TOUCH KRABKRAB’S HORNS. HE STROKED THEM. TENDERRRRRLY.

THE ALPHA MALE BROUGHT HIS LIPS TO KRABKRAB’S CHEEK. THEN TO THE NUB. OF THE KRAB’S SNIFF NODE. AND THEN EVEN TO THE FOREHEAD BECAUSE HE WAS. SO FUCKING BOLD. FILLED WITH TESTOSTERONE AND RAGING ALPHA SWAGGER.

HIS LIPS. KEPT GOING UP. IMPERTINENTLY.

“NO.” SAID KRABKRAB. “FUCKASS. THAT IS TOO FAR. BASTARD. I NEVER EVEN WENT. FUCK. THAT FAR WITH CLOWN FRIEND. BULGEBLISTERING NOOKSUCKER.”

THE ALPHA MALE SAID. “HUSH BRO. IT WILL FEEL SO GOOD.”

AND THEN HE PERFORMED. THE SMUTTIEST ACT POSSIBLE.

HE SMOOCHED.

THE HORN.

OH.

FUCKING.

YES.

HE SMOOCHED KRABKRAB’S HORN. AND THEN HE DID IT AGAIN. AND AGAIN. THE ALPHA MALE. FEARLESS. DOMINANT. HE HAD REDUCED YET ANOTHER ROUGH AND TOUGH MALE. TO A SOFTLY PURRING MESS. OF DEFEAT.

THE KRAB WHIMPERED BECAUSE HE WAS FILLED. WITH SO MANY TENDER FEELINGS. OF HUMAN FRIENDSHIP. HE WAS OVERWHELMED WITH THE PLEASURE.

THEY ATE JUNK FOOD AND HAD. A SLEEPOVER. COMPLETE WITH PILLOW FIGHTS. AND LATE NIGHT STORYTELLING. THEY EVEN GOSSIPED LIKE BITCHES. AND WHEN THEY SLEPT. IT WAS TOGETHER. IN THE SAME PILE.

THE END.


End file.
